In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize