I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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