There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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