I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I want to fling myself into the sun
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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