i dont even know how to be here
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
