woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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