can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
