I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
