Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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