All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
