The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
