member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm both gender and math confused
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
