new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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