Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
