this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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