I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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