What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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