he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
