Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
