I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
