i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
barbara walters just said penis...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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