What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
