id be glad to
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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