they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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