Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
