she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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