Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
