Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
