watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
