I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
