what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
