She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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