you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
