She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
