Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
