so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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