Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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