I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
