to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
