And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
