What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize