There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize