Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
