I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
