Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
