He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
