Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
