He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thank you for not boning my boss.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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