I hate all girls vehemently.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
