Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
