Don't you send me to vm
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can I color on your dick again?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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