Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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