She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
