Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
