I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know her cup size but not her name....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
