Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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