I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
