Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize