just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize